Druggista

Is it just me or everybody else, but I feel that there is a growing tension around people’s head to get out of the country.  (Just look around and observe at the number of students wearing nursing uniforms, they’re increasing exponentially!)

Is it just me or everybody else, but I think that the Arroyo tape recording is blown out of proportion. (Just look at the local news channels, and you’ll see how eager they are covering the Congress hearings amidst their futile debates and laughable proceedings.  The tape they were playing is even undecipherable to say the least! The heck if she cheated.  Like we didn’t know that elections were supposed to be like that.  Let’s get on with our lives please.)

Is it just me or everybody else, but I think that the only job market available for today’s fresh graduates is the callcenter.  (I’m not against job outsourcing, but what happened to the other professions?  And like they are going to make Cebu the ICT sector of the Philippines, boy that will surely diversify the options of incoming college students!  I see the future graduates of the next ten years to be either: a nurse or an IT personnel) 

Is it just me or everybody else, but I think that I’m putting too much emphasis on things I cannot control.  Oh well, I better stop typing now and leave everything as they be.  I do believe that oftentimes problems are resolved by themselves. 

Recalling long ago, how it must have been

All the imagery and melody, making a beautiful scene

Couldn’t believe I was standing and talking to you

It was really too surreal, and yet it was true

If I had known that it was to be the last

I could’ve done much more and asked what I longed to ask

Why had you come in the first place?

When all of this is going to waste

I have conjured all the possible answers,

But nothing seems to make sense and matter

For now it feels like a distant mem’ry

Your voice an echo, and your face a li’i sketchy

Now you are nowhere to be found

Try as I may to search all around

Used every means to get to you

But it seems that nothing had got through (to you)

I only wish that you’d tell me why

The reason you decided to fly

So that at least I may live my life with resolve

Knowing that you had given me a chance at love.

How short life is… With a sudden turn of events, someone overflowing with youth, energy and laughter can very quickly become incapacitated and then no more.  No more.  The end for this life.  How fragile we are. 

Like a straight right from a boxer, you can’t see it coming.  And then when you’re reeling in the canvass, only then will reality slowly set in.  By the time you realize it, it’s already over. 

Today, a friend of mine died.  It was very tragic and sorrowful.  Still young and full of ambition, her death was certainly far-fetched to say the least.  But sadly, it did happen.  Her life was only to last until today.  And now, she is no more…   She was still present in our weekly fellowships the last week.  Everything seemed to be just fine.  And then suddenly news of her being ill was quickly circulated through text message.  They said she was vomiting blood and feeling very weak.  Then like a withering flower, her condition worsened by the hour.  By then, she was transferred to the ICU.  And by that time, my friends had an uneasy and bad feeling that she is slowly losing grip of her life.  (Three years ago, I had a friend who also died not long after being admitted in the ICU).  The following day, before high noon, she was pronounced dead.  And just like that, a beautiful soul has just been taken away from us.  Just like that, she now becomes a distant and pleasant memory.  Just like that, the world has become an even more ephemeral place than ever before. 

Tragic events like these make us ponder about our own lives.  Our own death.  The big question of when always comes to mind.  No matter about the how and why, for all of us will die in one way or the other.  But the timing is something all of us seem to have a difficult time accepting.  Death when anticipated is almost always easier to accept.  God though will always have HIS own plans.  And we are not in the position to question nor refuse.  When we learn to accept this, realizations start to creep into our minds.  We realize our insignificance.  We realize how transient life is.  We realize the things that we were pondering about the other day were not that important after all.  We realize that we are running out of time also.  We realize that we can only do so much before our time’s up.  We realize that it is NOW that matters and not tomorrow nor yesterday.  We realize that we have to run the race, fight the good fight and spread the WORD because ultimately this is what will only matter in the end. 

I have my own personal insights about this tragedy.  It is with sad and remorseful heart, to say that I haven’t even spoken a single word to this friend of mine.  And now, it’s all too late.  I saw her one time in a restaurant.  She approached the same ala carte section where I was standing.   I knew it was her the moment I saw her, but I didn’t even bother to greet her.  I knew that she recognized me.  But my coldness and introvert personality won over me.  And I just walked away.  Looking back, I don’t know if I could have made such a difference by greeting her.  But who knows?  Maybe she was waiting for me to strike up a conversation also.  Maybe she was waiting all this time to talk to me also.  Maybe I could’ve made her day brighter by a smiling "hello".  Who knows?  No one will ever know now…  Not me, and obviously not her.  Learned this lesson today:  Never take anyone or anything for granted.  If you want to do something, do it now!  If you want to say something, say it now!  Seize the day!  For tomorrow is too uncertain for today’s matters.   

It was noontime when I first saw her.  The sun was blazing hot, but under a foliage of shadows the sunlight was beautifully highlighting her hair.   A gentle zephyr blew into her hair and sensuous body like a harpist playing with his harp ever so delicately.  I could feel the cool breeze flow through me also.  The smell of her mild cologne was carried with the breeze, and it gave me a wonderful feeling. The elements all played well with her beauty.  And I was approaching her closer.  My eyes were trying to peer through her long black hair.  Trying to comprehend what made me so attracted to this girl.  As I pulled out my toothbrush, I couldn’t help but sneak a split-second glance at her.  She was busy doing her thing also.  Not wanting to be rude, I proceeded with my usual routine. Leaving the sink without saying a word to her, I could not help but look at her backside.  She was wearing a navy blue skirt with a white jocky-type blouse on top.  Looking down,  I can see that she wore a mid-high white socks with black leather slip-on’s.  She doesn’t even notice me around and she leaves without looking back.  Unaware that someone was looking at her.  The next day, at noontime.  Again, I saw her.  Again I’m dumbfounded.  And again I was mute.  Days passed until I no longer went to the sink after noontime.  It was the stage in life when everything’s pointless and unimportant — college life.  Being too busy on myself and my studies made me totally forget about her.  Amazing how things can make you so busy that you forget you’re living a life.  Of course, with a new environment comes new friends and new experiences.  All in all college was not that bad when I look back.  Fast forward now to two years after graduation, and the scenes of serendipity is starting to take over again.  Now in a totally different setting without the sink and the toothbrush.  I saw her again.  I could not believe it, but it was happening right in front of me.  Thankfully, the times had made me stronger and braver.  I could now converse with her and even invite her to go out.  Wow!  Funny how things can change over time.  Funny how small the world is and how easily people can come across each other’s paths.  Never thought of seeing her again in this lifetime or maybe like after 20 years and she’s already married to a stupid jerk, and she’s holding her children by their hands while yelling at them to stay in line.  (Geez, what a sordid image of a married life.. hehe )  Well, could it be destiny?  Fate?  Serendipity?  I’m not sure if its any of these.  But one thing I’m sure of, I’m glad of that single meeting we had together.  Call me shallow, but I believe that if every man has to do something for destiny to take part, I believe I have already done my part.  So destiny its all up to you now!   She’s all yours…

O, Despair what have you become of me?

Your hand came upon so heavily

That nothing but hopelessness now reigns over me.

I am without relief from thee.

Ideas and thoughts relentlessly course through my mind.

A cancer inside my body,

Growing against my volition.

I struggle but still it persists.

From my mind, it spreads down to my whole body

Slowly infecting and paralyzing my faculties.

Its toxicity is felt in every cell in my body.

O, how debilitating the transformation can be.

Before long, the body is now but a crippling figure of its former self.

Stoic and pallid, without much zeal for life,

I lie down indifferent to the passing world around me.

Exhausted from the struggles with Despair,

My mind wanders aimlessly and stares blankly at the inanimate world.

Darkness has now come

It creeps slowly into the scene

I, however couldn’t care less.

Now as the darkness becomes encompassing,

Fear should have started to set in,

But fear has not been felt.

Despair has left me devoid of emotions.

Life has become a mere existence, calloused and numb.

I close my eyes and silently beseech for tomorrow’s coming.

For tomorrow may come with glimmers of hope and release

Release from this dreadful malady

But not today…

Not today…